Once upon a time and space,
Lived a princess, known for her face
Though she was personally proud of her mind
It was convenient, as suitors were never hard to find
And suitors she would always need
As none could ever satisfy her greed
Cinderfella, Mr. White, Aladdin all had tried
But she merely moaned, purred and lied
Fake it till you make it, she firmly held
And so she searched for nirvana on her bed
Little did she know that it was all in vain,
She had been cursed by a man she put in the friend zone lane
“No man, no woman in all of the shire
Would ever be able to light her fire”
And so she spent her days and night
Looking for someone who could be Mr. Right
Twenty men had come and gone
And yet she continued to feel forlorn
One night, in the land of dreams
She looks up to the heavens and screams
“Help me please, Why do I feel so frustrated?”
Came a voice, “Have you never masturbated?”
“There is nothing that I haven’t tried,
Missionary, BDSM and from behind.
“God helps those who help themselves,” said the voice
“When you have fingers, why rely on boys?”
And so finally that night the princess learned
And not a day passed where she yearned
For no man no woman in all of the land
Could satisfy her as well as her hand.
-Radhika Goyal
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