Meme credits: SMK
Chandra-Yaan-2.5: NLS Internet Department to reclaim glory by helping ISRO achieve connectivity
September 09, 2019 | By: Jwalika Balaji
Wi-fi issues have always been plaguing the student body at NLS and they seem to aggravate especially during the time of project submissions. The Internet Department at NLS keeps complaining about the hordes of mails that the student body keeps bombarding it with, asking for the wi-fi to be fixed in the hostels, in the library and in the Learning Centre – the first two places being situses for academic rigour and the last one for ordering food after having indulged in unmentionable activities.
Being fed up with the barrage of complaints by the students, deciding to prove its efficacy and technological advancement, the Internet Department at NLS decided to settle this issue once and for all by taking up the ginormous task of re-establishing connection with Vikram. The investigation team at the NLS Inmates Review received information from confidential sources that preparations are already being made to build the launch capsule and the rocket that would contain the technicians from the Internet Department. This may be the true reason that the academic block is being kept closed at night, to maintain secrecy about the construction of the capsule and the rocket.
When students were asked for their opinions on the same, the ones doing the university moot rounds enquired if the rocket could make a stop on its way to the moon to Wakanda to get some clarifications about a Wakandian company. However, the Internet Department answered in the negative, saying that the bandwidth would only be enough to take them to the moon and back and therefore they needed to conserve data, which has been their policy even with restricting access to streaming services. The Department also said that this trip would be opposed to their fundamental policy of only taking into account the interests of those at the top.
When asked what exactly the Department would achieve by re-establishing connection with Vikram on the lunar surface, the Department said it was to establish the competence of the department and rebut claims of inefficiency. They have also apparently come up with a motto for their project – #MakeNLSGreatAgain. Considering the previous achievements of the IT Department, it remains to be seen whether this project would be successful. Even though ISRO followed a minimal-cost policy, the IT Department is second to none when it comes to finding the cheapest plans possible. Some sources have suggested that the recent financial austerity policy on campus may have been initiated to fund the same.
The NLS Inmates Review team wishes the department luck in their endeavours and are eagerly waiting to see whether they can redeem themselves. The team also hopes that next year’s NIRF ranking has a ‘perception’ category as this project, if successfully carried out, would certainly add to the same and NLS will indeed be made great again. If not, at least Modiji will give us a hug and a pep-talk.
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