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 N Why P ?

This article has been written by Aditya Mehta and Sarangan Rajeshkumar (Batch of 2018)

Why does the New Year start on January 1 if Jesus was born on December 25? This is a question that has bothered us for a long time and none of the explanations that we could find on the Internet seemed to make any sense. One explanation that is offered is that while December 25 is the day of Christ’s ‘immaculate conception’, it is on New Year’s Day that he was actually born. Although this might be a product of a poor CBSE education, we’ve been taught that babies tend to spend more than six days inside their mommies. Then again, my CBSE education didn’t quite cover ‘immaculate conception’.

Another explanation that we found had something to do with the Roman Empire. As far as we know, there weren’t any wrestling franchises around when Christ was born and so, we’re dismissing that one too.

There is one explanation that we’d like to offer instead, and this would perhaps make sense to you too – It is fair to imagine that when our Lord and savior was born, all of the town of Bethlehem wanted to throw a party. But like the rains that seek to kill univ-week every year, the weather in Bethlehem messed up their plans. Sadly, for them, they did not have first years who could simply cover the place up with tarps and mop up the water when the rains were done. Thus, they had to wait a whole 6 days before they could throw a party. So on the sixth evening when the skies had finally cleared up, they decided to get wasted in honour of the little baby that had graced them with its presence. As it turned out, this party was so good that they decided that they’d throw one every year on the same day. Since they needed an excuse for this, they decided that it would be on that day that the New Year would start.

Since then, there has much that has changed with the world but there is one thing that has remained a constant – the party on New Year’s eve. Improvisations have been made to suit the times (although I have no idea what they did in the Prohibition Era) but the party has always carried on. Now, there are millions of New Year parties that are celebrated by gatherings of families and friends across the world. But over and above these, there are several places across the world that promise an iconic New Year’s eve – Times Square in New York, the banks of the Thames in London, the Las Vegas strip, and several others. But one party that has gone unnoticed to the world is the one celebrated by a small group of pseudo-intellectuals from the distant village of Nagarbhavi.

The parties hosted by this cult are things of legend. Soaked in Old Monk, these parties involve several hours of penance where the heathens of the National Law School dance ritually to 90s music in a trance induced by fumes of cannabinoids (some people stay sober; they’re pretty cool too).

We’ve been to these parties before, and sometimes we’ve got them wrong. Sometimes that cocktail was good, very good, so good in fact that we don’t remember having our fifteenth and were drooling in the toilet when the clock struck 12.  Other times we’ve paced ourselves, thinking this year will be the year we’ll be pleasantly hammered when the moment arrives, only to find that we spent the crucial seconds supporting that drunk friend who thinks he’s Captain Jack Sparrow.

We’ve tried angling for a new year’s kiss. You wake up reasonably satisfied with your efforts until you hear about what your friends did and the fomo hits you hard. So the following year you decide to go hard at the party with the brothers, only to find that this year everyone else is establishing a sure thing and the only story you have is a tragic tale of a third wheel.

There was that year when we tried jumping in a fish pond and were saved by one of those cool sober people. There was that year when said sober person started drinking and we returned the favor. We’ve rolled down hills, had literal pissing contests, and done much more. But after all this, you’re left wondering – how does one #RazeTheBar? Is there a secret?

Four years and several billion parties later, there is an answer. Always have that drink, but always sipping. Help the drunk, but only till you find someone else who can replace you.  Try keeping your brothers together if they stray – you’re their shepherd. And lastly, avoid the fifth years, they’re emo and will make you down – yes, we will too.

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One Comment

  1. Anmol Anmol

    I think I’m the only person who got the Roman Empire joke.

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