First Years Set up Company, Receive 6.5 Crore Seed Funding
Driven by Gut, Lads Ditch Moot for Noble Cause
November 11, 2018 | Aman Vasavada and Lakshmi Nambiar
In a classic case of need-based innovation, Nagarbhavi Laa College has finally caught up with the Bengaluru startup culture. Himalaya Ltd., a hyperlocal delivery startup aimed at procuring affordable food for children in desperate need, was founded by inmates of the Himalaya bunker on Thursday amidst a severe hunger crisis.
The said crisis was largely due to the non-presence of Chetta for several days into the trimester, leaving hundreds of 20-year-old children starving. This was something that the MootMonksTM knew only too well, given their penance in Himalaya throughout October. Disillusioned by the perils of MootMonkingTM, they turned to charitable entrepreneurship and tried to cheer up the young and ravished inmates of Himalaya by lighting diyas, but much to their dismay, the only things that lit the night were the tips of cigarettes. Then their mind lit up, and they realized that the way to a broke inmate’s heart is through their stomach.
Thus was born Himalaya Ltd. – a “need-based innovation” startup, vernacularly classified as “jugaad”. Its business model was simple and ingenious: Exist. Merely by virtue of its existence, the company is eligible to avail all sorts of corporate discounts and privileges. On the very day of its inception, Himalaya Ltd. successfully procured food delivery app BoxEight’s revered 25% corporate discount – which meant that for every three young and ravished inmates, one more inmate could be fed in the same expense. While this may sound like an ironic mockery of relentless consumerism, the venture has seen phenomenal growth overnight. Bistro’s dropping lunchtime consumer base, as empirically observed by us, is testimony to their success. Fifty inmates of Himalaya are now serving as directors in the company. They realise that they have five more years before their first Laa Firm salary, and their stomachs cannot wait that long. On Friday, the company secured 6.5 Crore seed funding from BoxEight, a food delivery app looking to tap into this young and ravished demographic.
A director spoke to our investigators at their Headquarters in the Himalaya Common Room: “I spent days MootMonkingTM in a deep, dark cave [aforementioned Common Room]. While the truth behind public international law still evades us, we know now that the truth of life is simply to pursue one sin and give up the rest of our primal desires. Ever heard of that sage who went to the Himalayas seeking enlightenment, only to realize that having a lot of sex is the ideal path of life? He chose lust; we choose gluttony.”
However, speculations have arisen about the future of Himalaya Ltd., now that Chetta is back (as was evidenced by the uncouth yodeling down the halls of Yamuna by an ecstatic customer who first saw those shutters half-open) and also fully in service (although he sometimes falls short of lemon tea). It remains to be seen how important a role shall be played by Himalaya Ltd. in a post-Chetta-less world. In any case, we trust that the Nagarbhavi Laa College’s AWOL Entrepreneurship Cell would be immensely proud of this unprecedented greenfield venture.
 While we do not have scientific proof, our spot surveys indicate that on average, famished people tend to consume more cigarettes per day. It is humbly suggested that the DISCOs co-ordinate with the MessComms and with Himalaya Ltd. to work against nicotine proliferation.
 Edit (dated 7 January 2019): The Entrepreneurship Cell is no longer AWOL; possibly revived by virtue of this editorial suggestion arising from this cutting-edge investigation.